Nocte Tacere
by The Little Infinities
Summary: It's in the silent night that it all comes crashing down. /Leo-centric.


Leo Valdez had always been a chameleon. He'd change himself to blend in with his environment, and it had always worked for him. He was a man of many masks. He could wear any one he wanted, any time. Kindness, Stupidity, Arrogance, Optimism, etc.

The easiest to portray was Comedy. Comedy was a character who never showed weakness. He never cried, or felt sad, or frowned, instead taking it upon himself to be everyone's comic relief.

But today, as Leo ambled the paven, rocky streets, he was not any of those characters. Today, his shields fell down, and his masks crumbled to bits.

For once, Leo was being Leo.

The Campo Santo Cemetery of Refugio County was normally abandoned. But on this night, hanging lights were strung from tree to tree, the usually thick, dead air was rich with the sound of laughter and joy, and families were found gathering around the headstones of lost loved ones. _Dios de Los Muertos_, otherwise known as _Day of the Dead_.

"_Mamá, ¿por qué ese chico dando vueltas todo por su cuenta_?" a little girl with her hair pulled into two pigtails asked her mother as Leo walked past them, tugging on the hem of the woman's dress.

"_Cállate_!" the elder responded in a rapid whisper, the younger wincing in response. "_¿No quieres que te oiga, hacer_?"

Though Leo had heard them, he numbed it all out. He was used to being alone on days like this, to not having a family to celebrate with.

The rest of his long walk was quiet as he drifted off into the further regions of the cemetery, the area with less people. He moved as if not awake; his feet moving in pace, one in front of the other, almost robotically. His eyes were sunken and tired, focusing on the ground in front of him. He didn't need to pay attention- he had memorized the route a long, long time ago.

He knew what was coming. But for some reason, despite the repitition in the years...the mental preparation he worked so hard on over the course of three hundred sixty five days...

He wasn't ready when he came across _her_ headstone.

He took one look and...

_Esperanza Suerta Valdez_

_October 25th, 1967 - January 15th, 1998_

_Loving mother, daughter, sister, and friend. _

_"Ido, pero siempre en nuestros corazones."_

...he _broke_.

He pulled at his hair and sobbed and silently screamed, the seams inside of him tearing open. Three hundred sixty four days worth of anger and sadness and confusion and pain bubbled out of him, and he felt his spirit longing to just leave. To go somewhere. Anywhere but _here. Why _had he taken himself back here? _What was the point? _

With every ounce of energy in him, he let out a cry that was inhuman. It was a sound of anguish beyond explanation, beyond human limitations. The sound of a spirit looking for a way out.

"_IhatemyselfIhatemyselfIhatemyself__**Ihatemyself**_!"

He thrashed and kicked the ground, the last of his pent up emotions finally evaporating as he fell to his knees on the grass under him.

_She's under me, _he thought numbly, _she's dead and it's my fault and I can't ever get her back. _

In the eery silence that follows his thought, Leo drifts off into an effortless sleep, his arms curled around the headstone of the one person who he had loved the most.

It's in the dead of the night, long after the celebrations have ended and the families have gone home, that Esperanza's spirit appears to her son.

Her whispy hand reaches for the curls on his head, as if she thinks she could actually touch him, feel her son, alive and well.

Her hand passes right through him.

So she settles in a criss crossed position, stroking his hair with a phantom hand, pretending that she can feel him, and she sings.

_Porque tú eres mi hermoso canción de cuna_

_You are stars that light the nights, _

_Y contigo voy a hacer mis sueños realidad_

_Underneath this starlit moon, _

_You are my baby, my sweet lullaby. _

Leo is a chameleon. He blends in because he thinks he's alone, and he really doesn't want to be.

What he doesn't know is that he has his very own guardian angel. And while he can't feel her or see her or hear her, she's always there.

_Because you are my baby,_

_my sweet lullaby. _


End file.
